Are We That Far Past Feminism?

In today’s society, how do we define a man as it pertains to a woman[or another man] while they’re in what they believe is a relationship? What about marriage? Does the feminist movement mean that for women, men aren’t supposed to help his ‘woman’, even if not financially?

I don’t mean help her do everything in her house or apartment or the totality of her life independent from him. I mean, if two people are ‘in love’ or ‘care’ about one another. They live separately, but what happens when he spends a great deal of his time at her house?

man embracing her lovely wife

Being an independent woman is laudable today and any day. She pays her own bills to live where she lives. He may or may not do likewise. But that’s not the point or the question here. Women very proudly say, I don’t need any man to take care of me.” “I take care of myself.” “I come and go when I please and answer to no one.”

That is wonderful. Sure, you don’t need a man to take care of you, but you will always want a man to do so. At the very least, you want to know that he can or wants to take care of you–afford to have you by his side.

Women, no matter their background, want men to shower them with love, affection and gifts.  Don’t women still want to feel like princesses in their relationships? It’s a great feeling when you know that someone is always thinking of you, even when you are outside of their presence. We like being greeted at the door with flowers, candy or a little trinket. This is not to be confused with wanting to be bought. Our love, true love, can’t be bought, no matter how wealthy you are. We are still moved by the heart.

Also, it’s not about the money one has. Love can be communicated on a string budget. If all you can afford to give is a 50cent candy bar, and it is unexpected, and comes from the heart, that is special. If you make time to surprise her and make dinner, and you don’t usually do so, that is a sign of affection.

And men, if you’re reading this, never, ever forget to pay attention to her. Take notice of her hair style, her outfit, a new fragrance or lip color. Make sure that you take notice and acknowledge every little thing about her. Trust me, it’s in a woman’s DNA to take notice of everything about you. We are hard-wired that way. Whether you know it or not, women are very perceptive and also by nature, nurturers.

The default for women is to show and give love. What we need is to have that returned. Don’t play make-believe. We can feel that, too. If you treat her like a queen, you will always be her king. Learn to read between the lines and think beyond surface when she speaks. Communication is the most important thing. Learn to listen and show empathy. It is never only about you. Be honest.

photo of woman in white tank top lying on bed

If your intentions towards her is purely physical, and you aren’t feeling her, say so. Don’t let her believe that your interest lies deeper than sex. If your interests are on a deeper level, then you know what you must do-tell her, show her. If the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach, then the key to a woman’s heart is through your attentiveness. Show her that it isn’t all about you. Be considerate and acknowledge the fact that life for her, you and everyone else, comes with responsibilities. Even if you don’t have the financial wherewithal to fully cover her responsibilities, the best thing you can do is be sincere in recognizing the position she is in to meet them all.

A relationship is give and take and if you have nothing to give, you do have the capacity to show love. Sometimes, it is more important to show that you care and aren’t oblivious to what it takes to be an independent woman. Love means that you care enough to give the very best of what you are, who you are and who you want to be for your partner. If I left something out, please tell me about it in the comments section.


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