I was watching television one Sunday and heard someone share a life lesson: “Anyone who doesn’t value you and realize that you are the prize, is not worthy of your time and/or emotional investment.” I am paraphrasing. It might resonate with you. here’s the way I interpreted it :
In my life, I have been both lucky and unlucky in love. But ultimately upon reflection, LOVE, in however form must be seen as a positive learning experience. Now not all ‘love’ experiences will be positive while you are in them. We should still take away something positive from them in the end. If you feel that you have to lose a piece of yourself, who you are, and what you want, do not ignore that voice in your head that tells you to ‘pay attention‘ and/or simply to ‘get out’. When that voice comes up, no matter how silent or muffled, believe that it is telling your truth. To get to your best life, one that you deserve, you must make choices that may not be easy. But to preserve your integrity, regardless of how difficult or what they entail, those choices must be made. You owe it to yourself to do so. You WILL get over it AND be so much better for it, too! That’s a promise.
In my life, those choices were sometimes made for me through circumstance. I was left without a choice but to move on. In plain English, that sucks. It robs you of your power to assert that personal sense of control. N+ever squander your inherent power to determine your life direction. Do not let that happen to you and feel stuck in the throws of what we want to believe is a ‘love’ relationships. Don’t allow yourself to be redefined and allow someone else to dictate to you who you are. That is only in their eyes, what they want to see and what they want you to believe. That is critical. You also shouldn’t rely on someone else’s words, particularly when no one else has ever defined you in surprisingly negative ways.
When someone has the audacity to belittle you, and sees you as a symbol of negativity, that is a big clue that it is time to move on and move forward. When you know that you are not that person, you never want to hear it from someone else-not someone to whom you have given your heart. Don’t feel stuck there. You always have choices!
When you speak about some issue or incident that may hurt the other person, and your words are saying that it is you who is hurting, and they turn it around and make it about them, that is an absence of empathy-a necessary part of love. You cannot feel genuine love without compassion or empathy. Any time you are communicating your emotions to someone, and they turn around and talk about their hurt feelings, it’s not there. LEAVE. It’s not that this has happened once, but each time that you feel hurt, insulted or dismissed. That person does not value you. LEAVE! GET OUT!
The choices you make in life or love will impact the direction you take. Do you want to live your life accepting that which you feel is totally unacceptable; speaks to your core, too? If you believe that you really love someone and they have established a CLEAR pattern of blaming and name-calling, that is not a healthy sign of love. It has been said quite often that ‘when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Don’t second guess yourself because you want to see the best or because you don’t want to be wrong. Believe that this is who they are right here and now. Don’t expect to change him or her. Changes come from within. You can only change yourself, and your responses. Be patient? For how much longer? ‘Patience can be a subtle thief’. Stop robbing yourself with patience.
Preserve your integrity. Don’t you want love to be just that-pure love? What about the “Golden Rule”? YOU ARE Golden! Believe that and accept no less than you give! Preserve your integrity.